Pride is a bitter pill to swallow
by R.G Charleoui
Summary: There's a reason why Minako woke up and found that he had gone. A side-story to You and I will never collide.


A/N: Ohayouuuuuu ~ (again) Edited for the sake of the crying writers who read my story. XD Just kidding. (Is there though?) Major thanks to ( u/2430194/Music1uv3r279) thank you for the constant criticism and for reading&reviewing! Enjoyy ~ Or not. Please help out with the ending? I'm finding it hard to find the right words for an ending.

He was standing in the empty third floor of the dorm, a bunch of wilting sunflowers in one worn-out leather gloved hand and the other hand curled tightly into a fist poised in front of the door of one female dorm mate. He had been standing there, indecisive – _I should knock. I shouldn't knock_ – his thoughts in a snarl and his stomach tumbling like sea waves during a storm for approximately two and a half hours – according to the clock in the far wall. It was nearing twelve and he knows that she's probably asleep by now but the possibility of fixing things with her was far too tempting. Never mind that he knows the fact that Minako sleeps in thin nightgowns. He himself could not sleep what with the inevitable happening tomorrow and the bitterness lying in between their cores.

It has been days since they last saw each other due to "clashing schedules". They had battled each other with words about the subject but nothing was solved. They're only left with tear tracks and a growing coldness in between them.

But even as the days between their fight grow longer, the coldness and resentment can still be felt inside his mouth like an itch. He could still remember every last single detail – the way his hands had curled to fists, the way her lips had turned away from his as he tried to kiss her, her hair, soft in his fingers as he had combed it down to the tips, her hands swatting his hands later on as he attempted to hug her.

And her words, sharp on her sweet tongue: _You're going to leave me anyway_. _Might as well prepare me for the separation, right senpai? _And she had said those words with a smile. _With a smile_. Even though he knows that she's hurting. But what hurts the most is that she had used the word senpai – it occurs to him then that she's distancing herself from him.

But what could he do? Reject his acceptance letter? Stay in Tatsumi Port Island – reminisce, get a job at the local police, wait for her – _for her_ – to finish high school so that they both could go? He'd do anything, _anything_ for her. So why wasn't he willing to sacrifice one year? If he gets to spend that year with her…what was stopping him from doing so? What was _this thing_ making him refuse her pleas?

It wasn't Caesar for that persona had long gone from his very core the moment they had completely rid the world of the Dark Hour. Caesar couldn't plant seeds of doubt in his head. He would but Akihiko had refused it whenever his persona gave advice. But now…

"Dammit!" he hissed softly and let his fist fall to his side. His arm had been shouting abuse at him for the past hour but Akihiko had refused to let it fall. Now he did so will his pride fall next – Akihiko was not known for giving up – but maybe this time he'll relent…if only to see her smile at him again.

What had caused this malfunctioning on his part? He threw the sunflowers hard and down they went, exploding on the floor like a lopsided firework show. He raked his brain for memories – clues – when did this frostiness start? Snippets of moments that happened ran through his brain but he was unconnected from it all – like he was flipping through a photo album that was not his –

He hears her voice first. Probably because he is so attuned to it._ "…coffee at Chagall? I'm game…let me get my –"_

Her fingers go next – his brain making a body for Minako through his memories. _A scarf as yellow as the sunflower in her hair flutters through the wind as she tries to catch it with her slender fingers –_

_Eyes, staring at him, eyes made of rubies and roses – _

Her kiss at school…preceded by her words:_ "Forever," she chirrups gladly, finishing her inscription on the collar of his shirt, her fingers hooking underneath them and slyly pulls him in for a – _

Then it wasn't her at all. But he remembers her gripping his hands. _A bell as loud as the toll of Tartarus' last dying breath… _

Hospital: _A room – so white – it hurts to look directly at it then –_

_A voice, rough , unused due to a long period of silence: _

"_Hmpf…still an idiotic cry-baby. But I guess I can't complain…you took good care of her." _

Akihiko flinches like someone had doused him with ice-cold water. One clear though ran through his mind: Shinjiro, Shinjiro Aragaki. She changed when he woke from his coma.

Then he began to see the memories differently – this time, the changes (no matter how subtle they were) were very visible. She stopped doing the little things – the little kitten bites on his neck, the easy way she said _Good Morning_ every day as she gave him bear hugs, the 4 a.m late _day_ talking with their eyes half-shut, one foot in sleep the other in wakefulness – then gradually, the big things. She opts to spend her Sundays making brunch for their friends with Shinjiro rather than her usual Sunday jogs with him. She takes tea with Shinjiro, not black coffee with Akihiko.

He could feel her slipping away. He realizes that he had this feeling for a long time – was he really that dense – but only now did he acknowledge its existence. The moment his eyes fell on her and Shinjiro as they had their tearful reunion, he began to feel unconnected in a way that set his nerves on edge and made his eyes itch – like he wanted to close them. He felt the compulsive need to look away but deemed it inappropriate so he looked at his girl friend smother his best friend in a way that made him feel happy and strangely…sad.

He recalls one time, when Minako had cheerfully invited everyone to a rousing game of good old fashioned King's Game and Junpei of all people had gotten the Popsicle stick with the sloppily drawn star on the first draw. Minako had set upon his head a crown of cardboard with more stars drawn on it with a black magic marker and the words _KING_ emblazoned on the front in gold.

"By order of the king," he said pompously, holding an imaginary sceptre in his hand – which caused him to be called _Stupei_ by Yukari, "I command 1 and 4 to slow dance to the beat made by 8!"

A _very_ red Mitsuru and a _very_ short Ken had danced _very_ awkwardly to the singing of a _very_ off-tune Yukari whom Junpei was laughing at.

When it was Minako's turn to follow the King's order – _Number 6, tell us who is your secret crush_ – Akihiko was tense in his seat and Shinjiro had "_tsked_" under his breath and pulled his beanie down a tad lower.

She spun around in her white dress that glittered like the stars in the night, her teeth chewing on her bottom lip and her fingers knotted – _beautiful_ was the only word Akihiko could think about to describe her – as she faced the both of them.

"Well, my King," she said grandly, addressing Junpei but staring at either Akihiko or Shinjiro "my secret crush is…in this very room right now! But! If I tell you then it wouldn't be a secret crush anymore. So that cancels out your order because by saying my secret crush I would indirectly be breaking your order because I would be saying a crush that was _not_ a secret."

Her smile was the brightest but Akihiko could feel Shinjiro's sulky mood. He felt a little sulky too – everyone in the dorm knew that he and Minako are together so why…

"Aki…are you and Minako – "

"Yes." The answer came automatically – quick and defensive, like he was protecting something. He looked at Shinjiro who was scowling at him from under his beanie. "If you're asking if Minako and I are together, then my answer would be yes." He didn't know what kind of tone he used then but he realizes now that his voice had taken a strange possessive tone.

A grunt, then: "Well…I hope _she's_ happy."

Well…everyone knew that they're together except for Shinjiro.

Akihiko collapses in a chair in the 3rd floor lounge, his breathing laboured and his heart pumping cleanly through his body.

"So…he still loves her," he forces the words out of his lips, however razor-sharp they may be.

He is afraid to do the thing that comes next. Figuring out if she loves him back or if she feels _any shred_ of romantic feelings for his best friend. If only he _could just knock on her door_. Then this would all be over.

"This day was supposed to be…happy." He mutters to himself, his hands curling to fists on his lap. "It's _our_ day…and yet…tch! Dammit! Why do I have this feeling that I need to set you free? Why do I get this feeling that you don't…ah! Screw this." He stands up, his grip iron-tight on his pride.

He throws one cold look over his shoulder – past her door and straight into her – he could feel himself falter. He couldn't deny that he was deeply hurt. This jealousy was rooted far too deep for him to remove it. He should have realized sooner…

"…_2__nd__ best?" he echoes as his coach in boxing pats him good-naturedly and saunters off to congratulate the nameless guy with the big trophy, leaving Akihiko fiddling with his now-cold medal. _

"_I don't think…" A certain red-haired speaks in a detached tone but Minako had immediately cut off that sentence with one desperate look._

" – _No! He can make it! Stay with me Shinjiro. Stay. Stay. Please!" _

_A girl kneeling in a pool of blood – wordless screams of Dia piercing the night – her achingly numb fingers pulling the trigger over and over and over. _

"_Too late…" _

_The memory fades and is replaced by something more recent…a moment that happened after their last fight: "Sometimes, I wonder if Shinjiro wasn't in a coma, would you have said yes to me the day I asked you to be mine?" Akihiko says quietly._

_Minako had twisted her head away so quickly Akihiko feared that she might have broken it. But then she faces him again and tears – tears! – are in her eyes as she spits out the lie she has been saying to him for a while now –_

"_Yes." She whispers. _

"A lie," He echoed, blinking his eyes once, twice, to dissipate the memory before walking downstairs to lock himself in his room.

He finds that he hates himself for being such a coward, leaving like this…but he thinks it's better than the other option. The alternative being him finally swallowing his pride and stitching together his relationship with Minako – ultimately going to her room and doing things Mitsuru had all but banned them from doing – but he knows it's not going to erase the fact that she still feels something for his best friend and the jealousy implanted inside his soul. He can't have that hanging above their relationship. He can't bear the possibility that maybe – just maybe – she'd realize that she had chosen wrong when she said that she'd be Akihiko's girlfriend. He doesn't want to stick around long enough for her to break his heart.

He doesn't know why he even doubts but if there's a possibility that she'll leave him just like all the other people who walked in and out of his life…is there a reason why he shouldn't doubt? He can't base it on just _love_ – such an over-used word.

Akihiko wonders, as he is falling into a half-awake, half-asleep state, what it would be like if he were the one to walk away first?


End file.
